journal of a struggling vet student

weeks ago, my parasitology professor came up to me told me how he was worrying about my failing status in the lab. he brought my quiz booklet with him and showed me the awful marks i have been getting. i just stood there frozen, with the failing marks being brandished to my face. what can i say? i told him i really have no talent in in memorizing them and that i was sorry. when i thought that was it, he went on to proceed about the bajillion absences i have procured and the myriads of empty illustration boxes in my manual. with that i knew i had to rest my case already and arguing with be very futile. instead i told him, with the most paawa voice i could muster:

"doc. please do not think that i am taking this subject for granted, i'm trying hard. and i appreciate very much that you are concerned."

as if that statement could explain the absences, the failing marks and the empty illustration boxes. but he bought it. but before that, he asked how many units my load is this semester. to which i answered: full.

the next day during his first para lecture class, mr. longno was absent.

at this minute i very much regretted that i gave dr masangkay a very hefty commendation during my past post. maybe i was just impressed by the way he delivered the lesson without considering the lesson itself. later i realized that i was not learning anything fron the professor who i thought was no bore-yes he still is no-bore, i am entertained as a matter of fact. only that i am not learning anything. the lectures were so diffused, the lecture outline was so general and i could not figure out where the whole thing is going. yup, the book helps a lot. but given that outline, i have no idea what parts of the topic are to be read for the exams. i wont bother going the extra gazillion subtopics if they wont gain me points. that's for the lecture.

in the lab it also is a similar story. it would always start with a lecture almost non-pathological in nature. and boy, it always has no realation to the slides which are to be examined during the later part of the class. and when it's time to examine the slides, he just couldn't convince me he can teach. i wanted to scream at his face:

"stop asking us questions! teach us first! if you had been sane enough to show us how these lesions came about instead of your lousy bats and poisons and conservation medicine during the first hour, we would have had answers in store!"

that was when i began losing interest in pathology. i barely passed the lecture and lab exams. i was so depressed after. but then, the mcgavin book was so good i could not get it off my hands.

first things first. finally vetsoc has expelled the horrible rotten corn. wednesday last week at the ungodly hour of 3 am, we posted out notices for the public to know. twas quite enjoyable.. especially the ice cream-yosi session that followed.. but at the back of my mind, i knew the rotten corn would retaliate.

and boy i was right. after she appeared to be the victim, begging for public sympathy about what she deemed "humiliating" (duh.) by crying over people (yeah, the single thing she excels at..), she now pathetically wants everyone to wear white shirts and red ribbons (talk about fashion chutzpah..) as.. uhm.. support for her antihumiliation-antivetsoc campaign. what the.. and since only stupid people cling to the idea of affixing the org's name to humiliation, good luck. oohh.. she's getting too much space in this blog entry.. it all ends with this sentence.

and yes. finally!!! UP won the 2007 UAAP Cheerdance Competition!!! grabe, the long deserved trophy is back after having gone astray for five years!!! the routione was exceptional!! i was in the the brinkf of aspnea after it was finished!!! the degree of difficulty of the tosses and jumps and stunts really shames the rest of the squads (yes, proud to say even UST)!! close to perfect yung execution!!! woohoo!! Go UP Pep Squad!!!

 and in other news. Kirt is the newest member of the organization!! his finals rites was held at the tambayan yeasterday followed by a dinner in congga grill. the whole thing was fun, and language was never a barrier.. go vetsoc peeps.. keep the fire burning!

 Regarding the supposed "rebuttal" made by the SDT member, I agree with him/her on some parts, particularly on... ...The fact that everyone has resorted to "below-the-belt" tactics at some points just to annoy the opposing team; ...The issue that we have at certain times, made fun of their students, and as some of the posts here can attest to, their school; ...The possibility that those juvenile delinquents in the picture prolly never intended for those pics to come out, much less be the subject of disdain not just of iskos/iskas, but every human being with breeding. BUT... ...UP has always been "in-your-face" when it comes to critiquing friends and opponents alike. In internet language, we are as WYSIWYG as you can get. There's a huge difference between "in-your-face" (note: the "SO?" banner which they absolutely abhor was made specifically with the intent to openly annoy them and knock them off their high horses), and "hide-inside-your-dominican- robes-and-pretend-to-be-royal-and-pontifical-while-flipping- the-other-team-off" style which they so eloquently demonstrated in that pic. You hate UP for our arrogance and angst? Get used to it! We're here to stay and we're not going to apologize for something we blatantly do and are intentionally showing to everyone. Look inside your backyard. It's not as pristine as you would like us to believe. It's called hypocrisy, my dear Gawi member. Look it up in the dictionary. ...Yes we make fun of the lackluster performance of the SDT this year, which pales in comparison with the excellence you've shown in the previous years (that was a compliment, dear Thomasians, in case you couldn't recognize it). Yes, we guffaw at the ridiculous costume that made your troop look like sperms from hell. Yes we roll-on-the floor with unabashed laughter at the yellow wigs that belong more in New Orleans in Mardi Gras, or in Remedios Circle in Pride parade or whatever. But, as I said earlier... It's IN YOUR FACE! We make no excuses for doing so. ...As for the argument that those puerile Thomasians never really intended for those pics to come out, well, that just proves my point. If you're gonna do something distasteful, own up to it. And don't use "they were just having fun" as an excuse. The problem with them is, they were way too "cerebrally challenged" to realize that what they post online will come out eventually. And to hide behind that moronic excuse is, well, cheap. Cheaper than our fake Havaianas, don't you think? So, without shame, and donning our sweat-drenched 99-peso maroon shirts and fake rubber slippers, and waving our 2-peso cartolinas, we openly and candidly tell you: UP KAMI! MANIGAS KAYO!

*posted by legolas_greenleaf sa peyups.com

http://www.peyups.com/posts.khtml?mode=viewtopic&topic=32348&forum=12&start=195

after my last class i decided to spend some time with myself. i had no idea why but it suddenly occured to me that i am in great need of some solitude. well not before dear astara turned down an invitation for a quiet walk down thr freedom park. that in a way became a blessing in disgiuse.

on the way to the stone benches of freedom park, i began my introspection. why is it that sometimes, we are too afraid to know the real us? are we really to scared of our real selves that we wallow with the image the clueless public have of us? even though in the deepest pits of our selves, we know that the public self, is not (in my case its NOT) the real self?

i avoided the question. instead upon reaching a comfortable bench i took my notebook out and scribbled a few ideas i could which i could structure into a decent essay. my chosen subject then was solitude.

solitude i think is an impartial concept that makes us realize the best and the worst parts of ourselves. amidst the nonchallant passersby i thought about what has happened to me all these times that i take my degree. i've thought about whether or not going here actually did me some good, whether or not i have actually learned everything i should en route to becoming a good vet in the future and blah blah. i recalled about the standards i have set on myself and whether or not i did some justice to actually meeting them. hmm.. i ended up quite disappointed honestly. although i have not failed any subject yet, i felt i havent really retained the lessons, failed to realize their importance and i thought i could have done things better. i realized that i really am not good in handling distractions. i easily succumb to them. and to him. oops.

but the question i left earlier was suddenly conjured inside my head. this is worst part of solitude. it always brings forth the real issue. which you must face. you are left with no choice.

so i again asked myself. why am i afraid to accept the real me? why am i so scared to acknowledge that though i maybe the carefree fellow who's well-liked (accept it.) by people, i am jeorgie: bitter and insecure; that i have always prepossess things that are sometimes outrageously delusional; that during the moments i stare at nothingness my mind wanders to that delusional world of mine where i play god and people and things are where i want them to be; that i am simply pathetic to summarize it all? wahh.. now im sounding really bitter. but what can i do? the truth sets us free anyway.

so after the whole mental ordeal i decided to treat myself and continue with my date with solitude. one quick bite at SU then i walked all the way home. on the way i met catherine calleja (PDI Southern Tagalog News Bureau) and exchanged kamustahans. she told i me am gaining weight again. niaha.

ooohhh.. so the someone is at it again. made a sort of realization post on multiply. part of it reads,

There are times when I feel sorry for them (UP VetSoc), it's like they don't have anything else to do with their time that they have to pick on me. Take note I'm not the only inactive member of the organization, it just so happens that they are so bitter. I guess they proved to everyone how shallow they really are. Too bad, I didn't ruin your reputation, YOU DID. Everyone thinks the same about you people already.

my reply:

1. you feel sorry for us? you dont have to dear. i dunno about them but i don't feel sorry for you. you deserve the expulsion. you did nasty things to the organization and to the members and you do know it. if you still are delusional about being the victim around here, well wake up. while you're so good at making crocodile tears run out of your facial orifices and making people believe your patched-up version of things, remember honey that the truth is absolute. it does not change. didn't they teach that in philo? you may fool people but not yourself. in case you have triumphed in making yourself believe your patched-up stories, there's always the psychiatric clinic. i reckon they can still rectify that.

2. yes, you are not the only inactive member but you are the only inactive member doing nasty things to the organization. got it? so we expelled you.

3. us? bitter? omigod.. its as if you're as gorgeous as all the other the sisses.

its as if you're as dead drop intelligent as me (among many vetsoc members of course.. niaha..).

it as if you are as kind-hearted as sham and the others.

its as if you're as fabulous as brylle..

can you think of one fucking reason that we should be bitter about you darling?! tsktsktsk.. i recognize delusional schizophrenia when i smell one.

4. now.. vetsoc's reputation.. read this word by word. sometimes a group will have to do an unpopular decision to salvage its name. yes, people may see it wrongly, but as long as it underwent due process, and the group recognizes the validity of such action, there is no reason that it should not push through. we expelled you because of the great damage you have caused. now, if only your cahoots would be wise enough to realize that when a duly recognized organization EXPELS a member, it only means that the organization has grounded reasons to do so. its not done overnight. neither in a week, nor in a month. in this case not even in a semester. yes, we may have gained a certain degree of public disapproval with what we did, but its for the benefit of the org.

now.. donna dear. stop posting stupid entries. save yourself from yourself while you still have the time.. instead of writing puerile posts, why not tinker with your books instead? you still have a lot to prove.. plus.. i still would want to see you in the college next semester darling.. but when that time doesn't come.. i'd be the happiest divine bitch on the face of the upcvm universe.

the para lab is officially over. finally. the finals was not the juggernaut type that we expected. ang saya ng jamming. UP Naming Mahal galore!! I begged to differ. I belted out the UP Cheer! Niahaha.. Yung iba senti mode yung kinanta. yung iba chill.. yung iba hardcore!! pero may isang mejo offensive ata. nag-name drop pa kasi eh. i have nothing about quite assertive songs. you can sing them the hell you want pero sana maging mejo sensitive naman.. okay na eh.. may name drop pa.. unfair naman dun sa tao. kahit naman ang objective is to inject humor, offensive pa rin ang kinalabasan. tsktsk..

in other news..

what's this i heard na balak na naman ng mga walang pusong tao na gawing "ladderized" ang TOFI? Punyeta. Hindi na sila naawa sa mga batch 07 na nakapasa ng UP pero dahil nagtaas ang tuition eh hindi dito pumasok. Halos lahat sa kanila panigurado ay galinig sa mga mahihirap na pamilya. nasan na ang institusyoing kakalinga sa mga matatalas nilang isipan?! ayun. wala nang ipinagkaiba sa mga pampribadong unibersidad na pinapaikot ng pera na mula sa mga estudyante. nakakapanghinayang.. anong idfadahilan nila? na kailangan nang magtaas ng matrikula sapagkat nagtaas na rin ang operating expenses ng unibersidad? klaro na hindi iyon ang sagot. upang masulusyunan ang problema, kelangang magkaisa ang buong UP System na hinginsa gobyernong ito ang budget na ipinangako ng konstitusyon! Nakasaad sa konstitusyon na ang sector ng edukasyon dapat ang may pinakamataas na budget sa lahat! naiintindihan mo ba yon gloria?! hindi militar! at lalong hindi sa utang na kinurakot lang ng sino lang at hindi napakinabangan ng mamamayang Pilipino! grabe..

tapos. hindi na kayo nakontento sa panghahayop nyo sa mga 07?! Pati Pati mga higher batches lalagariin nyo den?! putrages kayo. sabi ko na nga ba eh.. tama ang hinala ng mga perogresibong estudyanteng nakikipaglaban sa TOFI! NA ISUSUNOD NA ANG LADDERIZATION NG TOFI! ANG EXCUSE NA HINDI 07 LANG ANG TATAMAAN AY HINDI TOTOO! eto na. mashadong naging kampante ang karamahin sa mga estudyante. Pinalusot ang TOFI, kaya humirit pa ang BOR ng laderrized TOFI. Pakinshet.

 sa ibang balita ulit..

 uhm. sa kbila na lang nga. seege. :)