January 14th, 2008
ramblings..
without you even knowing you you are creating a big fantasy world where you can play god and little by little you find yourself getting slowly detached from the reality and begin marooning yourself into your fantasy world, that made-up world filled with made-up people and made-up places thinking you can be very happy being the the only genuine entity there. until something comes along and you find out just how pathetic you have been all along. then you feel sorry for yourself.
then you decide to end it all. you decide to once and for all get yourself out of fantasy and and begin living again in the real world. but how do you part with a fantasy? how could you part with a world that changes at your will, where everything fall at their respective places and everything is at harmony? how do you part with a fantasy?
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im trying to kill time at a a net shop in a mall while i wait for a final interview that had me waiting for almost three weeks. so for the last three weeks i've been playing some idle's role and do nothing but digest books (at least ian mcewan and bello and murakami) and listen to music and watch movies at home. how novel. and i also spend hours texting with soleill. the typical jeorgie-soliell msgs would be:
J: hi. musta?
S: eto maganda pa rin.
J: mabuti ka pa.
S: anung isyu m?
J: aun pa rin. ikaw?
S: wala.
i miss that bitch. i constantly bug her about moving to manila where the two of us would find jobs at a call center, get an apartment, watch dvd of phantom of the opera, listen to D'Sound and stroll the mall and read novels when we dont work. but she just wouldn't. i hate her for that.
well. its 3 pm. tata.