journal of a struggling vet student

as i try to look back at what has happened to me in the last 30 days or so, i begin to think that maybe, im beginning to get the hang of it all. i went awol (shhh... :)) from you-know-where, applied in Teletech, waited for three eternities before getting the call, passed the technical exam (which i think i really overestimated big time) and now training for the VOL account: the account i wanted to be in because of the higher pay (a measly 1k is still 1k, two Murakami books dude..) but i dont want to be in because of the techniocal nature (im a self-admitted non-techie).

Along the way especially during the first few days, I was really succumbing to the urge of not going through it anymore. really. i was feeling like all i wanted to do was to lay around and do nothing. even as i look back as to THE reason i quit school temporarily, still no help. but the cosmos had a really weird way of directing your perspesctives. i got the hang of it slowly. which is good. so far i havent had an absence.

if there's one thing i really like about TeleTech right now is the crowd. i dunnno. maybe its just the contemporary bandwagon-ish me: i want to be with the kewl crowd. but you cant blame me right? which is not to say that the you-know-where's crowd was unkewl. i dunno really. i also saw familiar faces. there was the ugly duckling-turned-gorgeous swan from elbi who now holds a top notch position in the account. my recollections of the old her doesnt hold true anymore. god, it really is unbelievable. there also is the tibak guy i was with during my sakbayan days in elbi. i find it quite surreal that we both ended up working for the imperialists whom we denounced with such fervor years back. hahaha. all things boil down to this for UPians naman diba? we go out to the streets while we're still filled to the rim with idealism then join the Establishment when idealism begins to dry up and we finally open ourselves to THE reality. hahay.. but at least the UP experience leaves us the options to join the Establishment and modify things within. di ba? Now can i do that? hahaha. sana.

the training's going well. met quite a few interesting people. but most of them are not interesting enough to be really interesting. Save Len maybe. Len is form UP Diliman, went full time with Gabriela, joined the Establishment after getting pregnant and now lives with his activist husband whom she met while giving lectures on the streets. they have a cute 3 mo old son named gab. wel we talked about almost anything. from kabaklaan to literature to politics. at least i am assured to be engaging in a good talka every now and then.

now.. the trainer. uhm.. she can deliver. but am not really impressed. hey. im being objective here alright. oh xoot. i suddenly missed kay garcia, my english trainer in you-know-where. god.

then the boys. hmmm. the guys aren't disappointing either. :)

one thing i learned in the past days: just let the feeling of sloth and indolence bludgeon you. let yourself be broken into pieces and fall asunder but never lose your heart. for once the feeling can't bludgeon you anymore, your heart will bring yourself together again.

as i try to look back at what has happened to me in the last 30 days or so, i begin to think that maybe, im beginning to get the hang of it all. i went awol (shhh... :)) from you-know-where, applied in Teletech, waited for three eternities before getting the call, passed the technical exam (which i think i really overestimated big time) and now training for the VOL account: the account i wanted to be in because of the higher pay (a measly 1k is still 1k, two Murakami books dude..) but i dont want to be in because of the techniocal nature (im a self-admitted non-techie).

Along the way especially during the first few days, I was really succumbing to the urge of not going through it anymore. really. i was feeling like all i wanted to do was to lay around and do nothing. even as i look back as to THE reason i quit school temporarily, still no help. but the cosmos had a really weird way of directing your perspesctives. i got the hang of it slowly. which is good. so far i havent had an absence.

if there's one thing i really like about TeleTech right now is the crowd. i dunnno. maybe its just the contemporary bandwagon-ish me: i want to be with the kewl crowd. but you cant blame me right? which is not to say that the you-know-where's crowd was unkewl. i dunno really. i also saw familiar faces. there was the ugly duckling-turned-gorgeous swan from elbi who now holds a top notch position in the account. my recollections of the old her doesnt hold true anymore. god, it really is unbelievable. there also is the tibak guy i was with during my sakbayan days in elbi. i find it quite surreal that we both ended up working for the imperialists whom we denounced with such fervor years back. hahaha. all things boil down to this for UPians naman diba? we go out to the streets while we're still filled to the rim with idealism then join the Establishment when idealism begins to dry up and we finally open ourselves to THE reality. hahay.. but at least the UP experience leaves us the options to join the Establishment and modify things within. di ba? Now can i do that? hahaha. sana.

the training's going well. met quite a few interesting people. but most of them are not interesting enough to be really interesting. Save Len maybe. Len is form UP Diliman, went full time with Gabriela, joined the Establishment after getting pregnant and now lives with his activist husband whom she met while giving lectures on the streets. they have a cute 3 mo old son named gab. we we talked about almost anything. from kabaklaan to literature to politics. at least i am assured to be engaging in a good talka every now and then.

now.. the trainer. uhm.. she can deliver. but am not really impressed. hey. im being objective here alright. oh xoot. i suddenly missed kay garcia, my english trainer in you-know-where. god.

then the boys. hmmm. the guys aren't disappointing either. :)

one thing i learned in the past days: just let the feeling of sloth and indolence bludgeon you. let yourself be broken into pieces and fall asunder but never lose your heart. for once the feeling can't bludgeon you anymore, your heart will bring yourself together again.

in other news..

before going to work i make it to a point to watch TV Patrol. I finally succeeded in getting my mom quit that evangelical chenelyn she listens to every dusk and make her watch TV Patrol instead. just yesterday i saw JDV blabbing about what he knew about the shenanigans of our favorite little-bitch-who-fucked-this-country-bigtime. and boy i was so amused. on a personal level, he is nothing but a bitter bastard from whom was a stolen a really precious thing. i dont like him anyway. he wouldn't blab if this had not happened anyway. maybe he should blame his son. ahahaha.. the scoundrel who blew the whistle because the bigger dog had stolen the meat the younger DV thought was his. goodness. on a higher level, it's like he's doing this nation a nice job of implicating gloria and her wretched family to the crimes everybody believed they committed. da ba? i know it wont really do that much. but at least.

haay. whenever i saw any of the arroyos' faces, i am thrown into an implosion. they should be sent to jail just by causing death-by-implosion to people. god. i just hope some blue flame would ran after them and set them afire. tapos magpapaparty ako sa mga friends ko. ahahaha.

in other news again...

haay tabulas. there's internet here at work na.. hopefully i can chorva in my thoughts more regularly na. til next time. :) 

hapi valentines day.

i really have nothing to say. i just want to write something for valentines day. this one's been the most boring one so far. last year was quite devastating. the other year was just unnerving. hahay. miss all the elbi peeps.

i brought with me the clothes for a weekend chorva in elbi. though i still have my first major assessment tomorrow, id still wont go to class. ahaha. bahala na.

and im reading my third murakami book already.

hahay! febfair here i come!

while i was filling my lungs with the noxious smoke of dunhill flow, my former ACE (accent and conversational english) trainer came up to me and asked if i was interested with being an ACE coach. after her question registered, i threw myself  into a frenzy out of disbelief. i went frantic as i made sure she was asking me what she has asked me. she said yes. i said yes. being in the ACE team is the only item in my wiosh list so far.

ACE coaches are a notch below ACE trainers. they listent to calls and evaluate agents' english and conversational skills. they dont take in calls. they just point out what needs to be worked on and provide feedback as to how agents can improve their conversational english department. even back in ACS, i have always envied these coaches. i have long resolved that i want to be one.

i was on a high for the next hours. i couldn't beleive that a trainee such as myself could fill the vacancy. i really was so thankful to my trainer that she actually considered me. i have not even graduated from a related course, not even a college graduate yet. and yet she thought i could make it. later that shift i was interviewed by  the ACE boss and two of the ACE people and the whole thing went fine i guess. i really think i could nail the job. i know that it is something that i could perform with ease and skill. english is something i am confident with.

then came the spoiler.

the friday before that, i was not able to attend the class. i called in the sick hotline and i got an answering machine asking for some pieces of information which i sufficiently provided. after, the machine told me that i could hang up if im done and the message shall be directed to my supervisor. i thought everything went well. when then i got to class last tuesday, my supervisor informed me that he didnt receive an email. he asked if i got the tracking number or wat. i said i didnt know that. the machine didnt tell me i was suppose to wait for some number before i hang up. and that made me an NCNS. which disqualified me from being endorsed for the ACE coach position. i felt my whole chance rocked. i am so fucking sure i made the call and that should be recorded somewhere. i am going to be anm ACE coach.

and when i thought im still on track, the real spoiler came.

yesterday, my wave mate and i were caught by the IT guys accessing an application that is off-limits to us trainees. it was some chat application which the class has been using since products started. in the middle of the class my supervisor announced in the class that two guys from the wave were caught doing something they should not. 2 people. isa ako sa isa. golly. after the shift, the supervisor talked to us and probed the reason for opening the application. and to think we're just seatmates! what could i say?! reasoning out would be futile and pathetic! the screenshot from my monitor was shown to me. mocking me at my face!! god, i really was so embarassed with myself! and to think that the supervisor was so kind and didnt deserve getting an email from the IT guys! what shook me to the core was the fact that this thing i did could really spoil the ACE coach chance. i was so scared. i didnt want to lose the chance but what i did is enough to have me denied of that thing i want most. i couldnt speak. i was at my supervisor's mercy.

he made me really realize that if i really want the job, i should be responsible enough to deserve it. he maintained his cool all the while  but he made sure he reinforced upon us the gravity of what we did. in the end, we were issued a discussion log-- which from what i understood from him, won't really affect my bid for the ACE coach position. but if something similar happens again, i would really be in deep shit. thanks boss.

until now, i really have no idea as to what's going to happen with the offer. the ACE boss had scheduled the start of my training on Mar 1 but anyything can happen now. he knew of what happened and was utterly disappointed.

still im keeping my fingers crossed.